Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Malinda's Top 10 Choices of 2017

New rules this year – since I’ve been doing this for a decade, I’ve started getting a lot of repeats on my list.  So, although at least half of the 144 books I read this year were rereads (did you know that in bygone days, women could be committed for “excessive reading”?), each of these 10 was a book I read for the first time this year. These are my top 10 recommendations for a general audience, not necessarily the 10 books I liked best. One of my favorites was a book on the collection of historical medical specimens – unless you have a very strong stomach and a passion for medical science, I would not recommend it to you.

So – 10 books I read for the first time in 2017 and would recommend to you.

1.       Salt to the Sea, Ruta Sepetys
I read this book because I absolutely adore Ruta Sepetys. You may remember her book Between Shades of Gray making my list before. I think Sepetys writes some of the most compelling novels of our time. For one thing, she chooses topics that are familiar and yet completely new. This book is about one of the worst maritime disasters in history. In happened during WWII but you probably never heard of it, even if you love WWII history, because it was information known to those behind the Iron Curtain and largely hidden from the West. The characters are compelling, the writing beautiful.

2.       Out of My Mind, Sharon Draper
Everyone was all about Wonder this year – so I read it. And I did not care for it. I though the end was contrived and patronizing. This book deserves all the praise – and the big budget movie deal that Wonder got. The main character is a young girl with cerebral palsy who is nonverbal. The story is brilliantly told from her point of view as she attempts to communicate, to make friends, and to navigate school. Thanks to Jennifer for lending it to me.

3.     The Master Butcher’s Singing Club, Louise Erdrich
This is my friend Lolita’s second favorite book, sandwiched between Pillars of the Earth and A Prayer for Owen Meany. Since those are two of the greatest books of all time, I figured I might as well read this one as well. If it tells you anything about how good this book is, while I had pneumonia and was too sick to read, I told myself the story of The Master Butcher’s Singing Club over and over in my mind.  Like Erdrich’s other books, the plot involves a cast of unique, often eccentric, characters whose lives magically intertwine. In this book, the characters include a German soldier turned American immigrant who owns a butcher shop, a Native American veteran who performs a balancing act in side shows, a beautiful mortician, and a mysterious scrap gatherer who searches the night for treasure.

4.     A Man Called Ove, Fredrick Backman
I’ve spoken to many people who tell me they liked this book despite the character of Ove. I loved this book because of Ove; because I am Ove. I am, at my core, a grumpy, anti-social old man who checks the neighborhood parking lot every morning to see who is parking illegally. (Okay, my neighborhood doesn’t actually have a parking lot. However, my blood pressure markedly improved when my neighbor whose friends did not understand the purpose of a driveway finally moved away.)  This is another story with a great cast of characters – not just the immensely lovable Ove but his neighbors – old and new – with their own sweet, sad, and hopeful stories. Becky  picked this book for bookclub.

5.      Ashfall, Mike Mullin
The Yellowstone super volcano both fascinates and freaks me out.  Even if you don’t geek out about volcano science, you can still enjoy this post-apocalyptic  “what if” book DH recommended to me. The worst case scenario eruption occurs at the opening of the novel, leaving much of North American in a dark, ash filled landscape where they must fight for the few remaining resources. Total edge of your seat kind of stuff.

6.       Underground Airlines, Ben H. Winters
Brian D, who is 1000x smarter than I, recommended this book to me. I enjoyed Winter’s Last Policeman, but this book is on a completely different level. Winters imagines an America where a compromise prevented the Civil War but left modern day America with slave states. Plantations are now run by big corporations and undercover policemen infiltrate abolitionist groups to recover runaway slaves. As different from reality as the premise professes to be, it is the light shed on our own society through Winter’s fiction that makes this book so enthralling.

7     The Lacuna, Barbara Kingsolver
I adore Barbrara Kingsolver from Beantrees  to Poisonwood and back again, so I chose to read The Lacuna this year. I was not disappointed. The main character is taken from the United States to Mexico at a young age. There his life becomes entangled with those of Frieda Kahlo, Diego Rivera, and Leon Trotsky. It is absolutely seamless how Kingsolver blends history with imagination, mystery and intrigue with raw reality. And the ending is golden.

8.      The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins
I listened to the audiobook version of this book because Becky told me that it had an excellent example of an unreliable narrator. It was so much fun! It’s just a really juicy, brain-candy mystery with a deliciously unreliable narrator. I adored it. Beach read for sure.

9.      I am the New Black, Tracy Morgan
When I heard an old episode of Terry Gross interviewing Tracy Morgan about his book on NPR’s Fresh Air, I knew that I wanted to read it. Yes, parts of it are as side-splittingly funny as Morgan was on SNL and 30 Rock, but it is also deeply emotional. Morgan writes about his struggles with a father who was a drug addicted Vietnam veteran who recovered from addiction only to succumb to AIDS – about Morgan’s own days selling crack on the streets – about dealing with fame when he didn’t know who to trust. It is good to learn to understand people who have had very different experiences from our own.

  10.The Cursed Child, John Tiffany and Jack Thorne.
Okay, so every other Harry Potter fan in the world  has probably already read this. But I didn’t want to read it at first because JK Rowling didn’t write it herself and despite some notable exceptions (hello, Heartless, my love) I generally hate it when a writer tries to take on another author’s characters (yes, I am referring to you Wide Sargasso Sea, Havisham, and Wicked – you suck [no, not you Wicked the musical, you’re awesome sauce – just the book by that man who likes to ruin other people’s stories]). Yet, I finally gave in and gave Cursed Child a go. And I loved it. I loved it so, so, so, so, so much! Thanks for letting me borrow your book, B.


PS A Christmas Carol is the greatest book of all time period. You should read it.   

Saturday, September 30, 2017

A Very Dorfy Sunday: Finding Time to Read Part 2

This is my second attempt at answering the question, "How do you find so much time to read?"

I think the takeaway from this particular day is that audio-books are the friend of readers. I download mine from Nashville Public Library. I pay a $50 a year membership since I do not live in Davidson County, but it is worth it. There are a ton of  audio-book options. After all, Nashville has one of the best public library systems in the country! I have an MP3 player devoted solely to audio-books - as do Brian and the oldest Dorfling.

Here is a typical Dorf Sunday. Reading time is highlighted. May it amuse you or make you feel better about your typical Sunday - or both:)

6:55 - up - meds- yoga- dress Jude
7:16-7:28 - Listen to Half Broke Horses while getting dressed and helping child button dress shirt. 
7:28 - Eat breakfast -  rush around to put items belonging to church friend in bag.  Find all items and realize friend is camping and will not be at church. Help Beck update his Book Book
7:40 - Everyone/thing is ready for church with 20 minutes to spare! Victory in Jesus! Shall reward myself by sitting with a cup of coffee and The Power of Habit.
7:58 Blissful reading time ends when tickle fight results in young Dorfling plummeting off porch.
8:04 Leave for church. Four minutes late. Service, Sunday school
11:23 Leave church - have gained additional 3rd grader. Make lunch (with leftovers from Blessed Saints Mom and MIL 😇), clean off table so can eat in fashion researchers say will result in Harvard Law for Dorflings (or perhaps just decrease chance of juvenile delinquency, violent crime, fratricide, etc. ). Eat lunch. Dorfling politely requests that I, "Show my friend how loud you can burp, Mom!" I do as asked - moments of Dorfling pride in me being rare.
12:28 Brian (who is super-human mega-dad) takes all three boys to park, I work on weekly menu/shopping list.
12:46 Finish menu, shopping list. Decide will be better human if nap. Embarrassed to write second blog in which I nap as worry it makes me seem slovenly. Then decide am too tired to care.
1:44 Boys back from park, nap over. Eat cake but feel sufficient feelings of guilt to burn at least 1/2 cake calories. Pick up living room in zombie-like state. Find TMNT samurai sword and pretend to slay the demons of housekeeping while making epic sword swishing sounds.
2:32 Leave for funeral. Listen to Half Broke Horses in Car (4 minute stop at gas station to fill mysteriously empty tank)
3:05 Arrive at funeral 5 minutes late (not meant as disrespectful as had to stop for gas and then was stopped by train with possibly illegally high number of cars- still, excuses. Will likely be late to own funeral. Plan accordingly.)  Funeral has gone beyond standing room only to spill into parking lot - no parking available even in grass. Overwhelmed with embarrassment at epic failure as human - keep driving.
3:09 Leave for grocery store. Listen to Half Broke Horses. 
3:25 Grocery store.
4:16 Done shopping (spent 1/2 paycheck - stupid healthy food). Head to Walgreens. Half Broke Horses on audio, paused for 2 minute stop to drop off rx. 
4:31 Home. Put away groceries. Have Uno tournament with oldest Dorfling. Do puzzle with youngest Dorfling. Help oldest Dorfling spend birthday money on Amazon (books - hurrah - parent win!) Prep dinner, clean up from dinner prep.
6:48 Brian drops off boys for sleepover at grandparents. Read Power of Habit while he is gone. 
6:53  Husband home. Supper and movie with husband.

Total reading time: 1 hour 36 minutes

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Finding Time to Read: Part 1

How Does Malinda Read So Much? Saturday Edition.

How do you find the time to read so much? I get asked this question a lot. Much like the frequently asked question, “What was it like to grow up in Africa?” – I don’t know. I don’t know what it was like to grow up in Africa because I was doing it, not studying it and because I didn’t grow up anywhere else – so what would I compare it to?  Reading is similar – I just do it and I can’t really tell why I read more/less than others because I don’t know exactly what their day-to-day lives are like.

So, when a friend asked me to write a blog about how I find time to read, I decided I would track myself on three types of days – a normal Saturday, a normal Sunday, and two normal work days. Then I will just share my day with you and you can decide what I do that may or may not work for you.  (Or you can decide that I read because I just don’t have much going on in my life – which has been suggested to me, to my face, by some of the people who want to know how I read so much. If that’s your conclusion, please just don’t tell me. It hurts my feelings.)

Saturday Breakdown:
Book time: 88 minutes
Types of reading: Listening to audio book, reading to child, reading to self
Book time indicated by highlights
Helpful reading tip: I listen to audiobooks as well as reading paper books. I get all of my audiobooks from the Nashville Public Library. Since their selection is so much better than the local Linebaugh system, I pay $50 a year for an out of county library card.  

My Saturday:
               6 AM – wake up when DH’s alarm goes off for UMC men’s breakfast. Have stupid migraine aura,
take meds, go back to bed.
8 AM – after third time sleep is interrupted by Dorfling, get up, eat, discipline child. Find cake
recipe for celebration lunch. Clean off counter, gather ingredients. Dorflings help make cake – I prevent fratricide (am humanitarian hero). Clean up cake mess. Put oil treatment on hair as takes same time to soak in as pound cake helps to make (useful, life skills information).
9:40 AM – Spend 30 minutes writing in “daily” journal (daily is intent – not reality – must back track to Thursday). Dorfling: “Take off your apron, Mom. What’s in your hair, Mom. What are you writing, Mom. Seriously, take off your apron now, Mom.” Dorflings have actual, physical fight on my back while I am writing. Husband home, quick kiss, husband gone again to phone store. Find snacks for “starving” children.  
10:13 AM Make coffee, refill pill holder (am old lady). Prevent fratricide over broken toy. Go online and order super glue for broken toy along with vitamins/allergy meds. Change sheets while helpful child rolls around on bed. Work on putting away laundry from one of three baskets of clean-but-not-dealt-with clothing.
10:48 AM Remove cake from oven, shower, husband home. Have 5 minute adult conversation with husband while children bang on bathroom door yelling, “Dad! Dad!” Ask child to shower approximately 6 times, ask husband to make biscuits, flip cake, help child with headphone issue (am brilliant tech guru).
11:12-11:27 Listen to audiobook of Half Broke Horses while getting dressed (with breaks to discipline children).
11:27 Find cake glaze recipe, make cake glaze. Husband is making biscuits so, adult conversation!! Hurray! Strip sheets from Dorfling’s bed. Cannot find clean sheets to put on bed – while looking for them, forget what I am doing. Stand in the middle of the kitchen saying, “Why am I here?” Refill laundry soap dispenser and bathroom soap. Look at DH and realize we have accidentally put on each other’s shirts.
12:02 Leave for own child’s birthday celebration 2 minutes after it is scheduled to begin.  Blargh. (Am world’s worst time manager).
1:57 Leave in-laws house with my parents. Install thrilled, adorable Dorfling’s new curtains and bedding – take pictures for social media to brag about amazing Super Grandmother. Put away left overs sent home by Mom and MIL (praised be their names). Go through mail – foist off giant Arbor Day envelope on DH as is overwhelming. Work on laundry. Magnanimous children offer to allow 30 minute nap before taking them on promised errand running excursion.
3:15 Up from nap. Kids ask to finish watching cartoon before leaving for errands. Clean large fish tank. Work on laundry. Get in car. Give mini seminar on toy etiquette.
3:44 Shoes store. Blargh – boy shoes so expensive! Dorfling cheerfully agrees to buy shoes on sale for $50.  See girl mom buying two pairs of shoes for her daughter for $20 total. Suppress urge to slap her. Successful suppression! Nominate self for Nobel Peace Prize. Book store. Dorfling spends birthday money. (On books! Heart is melted in big puddle of motherly love.)
5:00 Leave bookstore at exact time am supposed to be arriving at in-laws. Full of shame as text mil of lateness for second time in same day.
5:15 Leave in-laws with 15 minutes to make it across town for dinner with church friends– still wearing t-shirt and Crocs. Not outfit had planned to wear.
5:27  Argh! Cannot make it across town in time. Text friends to say am ridiculous, late running, nonsense type person.
7:58 Leave dinner with amazing-type friends for in-laws’ house.
8:28 Home. Bedtime prep. Check social media to see comments on Super Grandmother.
8:45 -9:15 Read Horrid Henry to Dorfling until he falls asleep (sweet little angel baby)
9:15-9:58 Read The Power of Habit

Total Reading Time: 88 minutes

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Dorf Summer Reading 2017

One of the eternal questions of bibliophiles: what exactly is a good book for summer reading? In 2009, NPR asked listeners to vote on the “100 Best Beach Books Ever”. There were some choices that were perfect for the beach/summer: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows and Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg. There were some choices on there that would be good at any time of the year and not just the beach, namely the Harry Potter series, Ender’s Game, and Cold Sassy Tree. But, there were also some choices that made me think that the voters didn’t quite understand what a summer/beach read was. Here are some that made the list: The Road by Cormac McCarthy, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, and The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger . This is not saying that these books are not good books; they are just not, in my opinion, summer reads. It just seems like people voted for their favorite books, regardless of the concept of the poll.

So, again, what is a good summer book? To me, it’s a book that’s not going to be too deep, dark, or depressing. It’s one that can capture an imagination. It, hopefully,  is not one that you have to read for work.

After I finished my Master’s Degree in Library Science in 2012, I promised myself that I would finally read Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth. Years passed, and life happened, and now I’m finally reading it. Is it a summer read? It made the NPR list, and so far, I can see how. It’s full of adventure, action, and intrigue.

I have made a list of 10 books that I think are good for summer. I looked at my “book book” that contains all of the books I’ve read since 2011. I picked 36 books of them that I thought would be “summer reads.” I then randomly chose 10. Keep in mind that most of the books I tend to read are (1) Nonfiction (2) Sports (3) Politics (4) Humor (5) Biographies (6) Southern Lit (7) YA Lit. Here they are:

 1.       The Last Season: A Team in Search of Its Soul—Phil Jackson. I love sports books that get into the nitty-grittiness of a team and a quest. Jackson’s previous book Sacred Hoops was truly my favorite sports/religious books I’ve ever read (OK, there haven’t been many). With the NBA playoffs coming to a close in June, it’s a great way to end the season by reading a well-written account.  

2.        Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection‎
—A. J. Jacobs. This is the only A. J. Jacobs’ book I have read so far, but I will definitely read his others. Drop Dead Healthy is the perfect Summer book for you to laugh out loud about his exploits to become healthy in 1 year. His treadmill desk is very amusing.


3.        What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures

—Malcolm Gladwell. Gladwell makes deep topics available for the masses without dumbing it down too much. I loved his other books, but this one is great for summer reading for those that don’t have a ton of time to read a book that has one long narrative. Dog Saw is a collection of his long-form articles from magazine The New Yorker (which surprises me that he writes for them since they are usually so pretentious). Fascinating.


4.        Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe: A Novel: Fannie Flagg. This is one of my favorite Southern Lit books. In fact, it may be the perfect Southern lit book. Great characters. Swift-moving plot. Hysterical dialogue. 


5.        Jim Henson: The Biography—Brian Jay Jones. I always loved the Muppets and Sesame Street. The Dark Crystal terrified me. This book looks at the life of Jim Henson through his struggles of balancing his job and family. It’s not always a happy story, but the process is fascinating. For some reason, I remember being in the car on the way home from elementary school when his death was announced (the same day as Sammy Davis, Jr.).

6.        Boys Among Men: How the Prep-to-Pro Generation Redefined the NBA and Sparked a Basketball Revolution—Jonathan Abrams. I read this book earlier this year. It truly contains some very sad stories of high school phenom basketball players who thought that they had the talent and skill to make it directly to the NBA, but had no structure (and sometimes not enough talent). The story of Kevin Garnett was intriguing.

7.        Ready Player One—Ernest Cline. If you can do audio books, listen to this book. Wil Wheaton (Wesley from Star Trek: The Next Generation) reads this so wonderfully. I don’t read a lot of Sci-Fi, but this book was inventive, creative and hit right to the soul of my 80’s Atari self.

8.        Small Steps—Louis Sachar. Holes is one of my all-time favorite books, so I held off on Small Steps for a long time, afraid it would damage my feelings. I wish I hadn’t held off. Steps features X-Ray and Armpit and their adventures through earning money after they got out of Camp Green Lake. This YA novel is a lot of fun.

9.        Wishful Drinking—Carrie Fisher. I love Star Wars. I love biographies. Perfect combination on this one. I had never read any of Carrie Fishers’ books, but I will read the others after this one. She is so darn funny. It’s a little bittersweet to read now that she is deceased, but the inside info on her life as Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynold’s daughter is so interesting. If you do audio books, listen to this one. Carrie reads it.

10.      The Art of a Beautiful Game: The Thinking Fan's Tour of the NBA
—Chris Ballard. This is one of my favorite sports books of all time. Ballard digs deep into the nuts and bolts of NBA basketball, but in a different way. I loved the chapters on Dwight Howard’s rebounding and Kobe Bryant’s will to win. This one is also great to read in June.

So, I had to throw in a baseball book because that’s what I do in the Spring/Summer: read a baseball book or two.


11.      The Arm: Inside the Billion-Dollar Mystery of the Most Valuable Commodity in Sports—Jeff Passan. Why so many baseball arm injuries? How is it in Japan, pitchers throw 140-150 pitches per outing, but don’t seem to get injured as much? How is Youth league baseball hurting kids? This book digs deep on these topics and more. 

Friday, May 19, 2017

Malinda's 10ish Books for Summer Reading

Summer reading – it’s one of the Best events of the year. I love to spread out on a cozy quilt under a shady tree and dive into a book. Recently, a co-worker asked me for some recommendations for summer reading. I tried So Hard to keep my list to just ten books, but I stealthily name dropped my book friends until it was a bit more than 10.

Without further ado, here are 10ish books that I would recommend for your summer reading list.

1. The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver - I adore Barbara Kingsolver. Sometimes she writes a sentence that I need to read 2 or 3 times just because it is so beautiful. This book is about a young Mexican American man who becomes mixed up with Frida Kahlo and Trotsky and the Committee on Un-American Activities. History + Great Characters + Heartbreak + New Perspectives (I am also especially fond of her books The Poisonwood Bible and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.)

2. The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls – Walls’ The Glass Castle is one of my favorite dysfunctional memoirs, and I love this fiction work by the same author. I've read Star three times, I think. It is about two sisters who, abandoned by their mother, must move back to the small, southern, factory town where their family once owned the local mill. It is sort of a modern Southern Gothic, coming of age, classism/racism/sexism tome.  (This book was recommended to me by JM who recommends amazing books like A Year of Biblical Womanhood and Mindset.)

3. Underground Airlines by Ben H. Winters - My colleague BD, who always recommends the best books (like Cultural Literacy and The Last Policeman), sent this one my way. It is a politically insightful, perhaps controversial, adult dystopian novel. The setting is a re-imagined America where the Civil War did not happen and there are still several slave states. An undercover African American agent works to catch escaped slaves for a government agency.  It is for the Black Lives Matter movement what The Handmaid's Tale is to liberal feminism. 

4. Winterdance by Gary Paulsen - I literally could not care less about sports adventure books where people go off and do something crazy in the name of proving they can. Except for this book. I love this book. Only the author of Hatchet and The Winter Room could make me care, deeply, about the Iditarod. I read it last summer and was, at points, forced to climb under a blanket because I was experiencing Alaskan cold along with Gary Paulsen. I plan to read it again this summer. 

5. Heartless by Marissa Meyer – If you have ever heard me gush, it might have been about Marissa Meyer. I think she is Beyond Fabulous. This is her most recent book and it is brilliant. It is the story of how the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass became a violent force of nature who roams Wonderland screaming, “Off with their heads!” The way that Meyer takes the stories and poems of Lewis Carroll’s classic works and weaves them into a beautiful, heartbreaking, romantic, adventure-filled YA novel is delicious.  

6. The Rosie Project by Grame Simsion - I read a lot of books about autism and this is one of my fictional favorites (along with Mockingbird and The Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime). It's a quirky Australian romance about a genetics professor who is attempting to find his perfect mate by using a carefully crafted questionnaire. It's sweet and funny and insightful. It was recommended by my friend BT (who also passed me the luscious mystery The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie.)

7. Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell - This book is so weird. Sarah Vowell (who I really would love to have in my circle of friends – along with Anne Lamott) decides to delve into the deaths of assassinated presidents, largely by visiting their places of death and places associated with their deaths. It has a lot of cool history in it, and I relish Sarah Vowell's playfully sick sense of humor. 

8. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield - I got this book from my friend LG, who I still love even though she does not appreciate my devotion to Life of Pi. This is like Southern Gothic if that was a British genre. It's got a main character who loves books (which I'm a sucker for), a story within a story, and lots of really twisted family plots. Also, it makes some excellent allusions to classic Gothic novels. 

9. Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe - I read this because I wanted to read the part about the making of the Outsiders movie. I was not expecting much. It was so good that I passed the copy on to my husband who also really enjoyed it. It was well written with lots of crazy stories and endearing stories and inside Hollywood/political stories. It's my favorite celebrity book other than Bossypants. 


10. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell - I love geeky books (looking at you Invisible Gorilla and every book by Erik Larson) and Malcolm Gladwell always makes me feel really geeky and smart. This is a well-written book about how decisions are made. It leads to some introspection as well as some new thinking. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

For the Love

I just finished listening to For the Love by Jen Hatmaker and I am so conflicted. There is a lot – really, a lot – of good about this book. But there is this one Really Bad Thing. In time, I may forget the Bad Thing, but right now it makes me think I won’t pick this book up again.

First, let’s celebrate the good. Jen Hatmaker reads this audiobook and she does a great job. When an author reads his/her own work (and does it well), it brings me joy. I have seen Jen Hatmaker speak and I can honestly say that her reading voice sounded like her speaking voice: friendly, expressive, conversational, and heartfelt.

Jen Hatmaker is funny. This is one of the reasons people love her. Although it felt a little confusing from a strictly literary standpoint, this book went back and forth between celebrating women, laying down God Truth, and Jimmy Fallon-style thank you notes. The parts celebrating womanhood were the most humorous, especially the parts about child-rearing. Jen Hatmaker (yes, I have to call her by her whole name – I don’t know why, it’s just what I do) is self-deprecating in an honest way that a lot of moms aren’t. It’s nice to laugh at how preposterous this whole parenting gig can be. And the thank you letters…the thank you letters are hilarious. My favorite was the letter to Facebook Quizzes. You should Google it.

The theology that Jen Hatmaker lays down is truthful and solid. She speaks to issues like pastoral honesty and church community and mission work. Her passion for the poor is evident in her writing, as is her desire to see mission trips done right. I wish every church would read her section on how to work with local churches in missions. She puts forth the radical idea that Americans on mission trips should listen to the local church leaders and Do What They Ask instead of setting our own agendas. And she states that we need to be more committed to those churches instead of taking One and Done mission trips.

Okay, the Really Bad Thing. Full disclosure: I’m being petty. Jen Hatmaker makes me feel bad about myself. I’m sure she doesn’t intend it, I know that it’s my own problem, but it’s still real and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Jen Hatmaker has five kids and writes and is a pastor’s wife and some kind of wonder-cook and yet she has All the Friends with All the Closeness. She talks about her tribe, her people, all of these amazing friends she always seems to be with who are so supportive and taking vacations together and having deep conversations and OMG what is wrong with me that my kids and my job are pretty much all I can handle and I don’t have that kind of Sex and the City Working Mom Iron Chef thing that she has?  I couldn’t finish her book Seven for the same reason. Yeah, I get that it’s me and it’s not “what’s wrong with me” but more “it’s okay that I’m not there in this ‘season’.” But, seriously, I feel bad. And just in case this might make you feel the same way, I’m putting it in this review.

So – great audio book reader. Funny. Solid theology. If you are living the large circle of extremely close friends, this is so your life. If you don’t give a flip whether you have a large circle of extremely close friends, namaste on your evolvement – read the book. If you can’t handle hearing about someone else’s large circle of extremely close friends right now because that’s not where you are, maybe wait on this one.

Happy reading,

Malinda

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Truth About Who You Are



                                                

I am about to tell you five of the best things about me. 

1. I am giving. I give of myself, my time, and my money to family, friends, and my students. I do more than anyone realizes, behind the scenes, without taking credit. I am the kind of woman who will work a 12 hour day and then come home and make cupcakes for my students just to show them that I care about them. 

2. I am nurturing. I am incredibly patient, caring, kind, and calm. In situations where other teachers would yell at a student, I can keep my cool and speak gently. When others are freaking out, I can remain calm and centered. I am the kind of woman others aspire to be. 

3. I look out for others. Ever since I was a small child, I have been deeply concerned about the needs of others. I made sure that other children were included, especially those who were picked on or left out. As an adult, I continue to stick up for anyone who needs an advocate. I am fiercely protective. 

4. I have the gift of mercy. Although I can be cautious about letting people get close to me, I offer love and acceptance with no strings attached. Where others find an opportunity to judge, I find an opportunity to show compassion.  I can see the pain that dwells behind hatred, anger, and sin. 

5. I give the best hugs in the entire world. 

Confession: I didn’t really make that list.  What I actually did was go to five people (my husband, my co-teacher, my father, my best friend, and my son) and ask them what it is that they like about me. It was a horrendously difficult thing to do. I was embarrassed to ask and embarrassed to hear what they had to say. I had to bite my tongue to keep from denying their words.  

You see, if I had to make a list about myself, if would go something like this:

Fat

Lazy

Self centered

Snarky

Unaccomplished

That’s the self I see. If you talk to most women, I imagine that many of us think of ourselves with very negative words. That is what I hear most of the time when I talk to my friends and co-workers – I hear the negative, the “too busy”, the “not pretty”, the “should have”, the endless apologies for things that are perfectly human. 

It hurts me when I see women of immense value, women with endless talent, women I admire, who cannot see themselves in the light of who they are. I want my friends, my coworkers, the women of my church community, the women in my family – I want them to see what I see and stop talking to and about themselves in such negative terms.  

But…I can’t ask in others what I am not willing to do myself. So, I decided to start by asking what others see in me. I am going to try my best to put fat, lazy, self centered, snarky, and unaccomplished in the garbage where they belong. I am going to look in the mirror and see giving, protective, nurturing, merciful, and affectionate. I am going to accept compliments with grace. I am going to live like I believe that the people who love me do so because they see something in me that is beautiful and worthwhile. 

If I can do it, so can you. Ask the people who know you what they see in you. BELIEVE what they tell you. EMBRACE the amazing person you are. Throw your negative words away and live the truth of who you are.